Wellness for Children - The Benefits of Relaxation, Self-Care and Meditation for Children

Meditation in nature

In education currently there is an increasing pressure on children to do well in a certain way. The confines can be very specific to certain learners. Kids need to sit still and be able to focus, they need to be able to deal with constant stimulation and with a lot of test taking and evaluation. This can be very problematic for many children and can lead to them feeling stressed out or anxious. It can also become very hard for them to relax. This can mean constant excess energy –eg ‘bouncing off the walls’, ‘meltdowns’ or the inability to fall asleep.

Contemporary children can also face over scheduling, especially in NYC. As parents we can get tangled up in wanting ‘the best’ for our child. We want to take advantage of the endless opportunities which can mean signing them up for multiple classes with little or no down time.

Down time is so important for all of us but especially the developing mind of a child. Giving the mind a break from constant stimulation allows us to have time for to take in new things, to have new thoughts. Time without goals, without plans, time just to be can be incredibly fulfilling for children and can offer room for great creativity. Boredom should not be dreaded but rather seen as an opportunity for your child to sit with themselves,get to know themselves, discover that internal voice, discover what they enjoy doing with their time, it allows them follow their instincts. Lying on a blanket looking at the clouds is not a waste of time instead it’s a time of wonder, exploration and imagination development.

Meditation can be wonderful thing for children. It is a way of giving their busy brains a break. There are thousands of studies showing the positive impact of meditation and mindfulness on our health and well-being and we must remember that children can benefit just as much as adults.  Meditation allows children to refresh their ability to concentrate, helps alleviate stress and anxiety and helps kids develop self-awareness, manage emotions and self-regulate.  It helps children find an inner stability and security.

I work with children both in schools and privately and I have seen first hand just how much Meditation can help them. Despite what we may think about children’s abundant energy –a meditative state is quite a natural for children. They are enriched by learning about the connection between mind and body, focusing the mind, relaxing the body and not being overwhelmed by emotions. 
How can you get your child to meditate or relax? Children learn by what they see. If you are stressed out, always on your phone, not making time to self-care, relaxation and meditate then they will not place the importance on it that should be.

I have meditated throughout my children’s childhood (they are now 10 & 13) and they often just come and sit beside me (when they were younger in my lap) when I meditate in the mornings or just enjoy that quiet time. From a very young age they knew that it was an important time and they adjusted their energy naturally.  

In the evening in the build up to bedtime can be a wonderful time to practice relaxation with children. Reading together, some restorative yoga, breath work or a guided meditation. *I’m working on some projects at the moment to help with this!
 

It's Cool to be Kind! The Many Benefits of Kindness & Teaching our Children Well.

Kindness board at ps58, brooklyn

Last month we looked at compassion for ourselves and for others and how that can be practiced in Mindful Meditation. This month we are turning to the practice of Loving Kindness Meditation. This month we are going to examine kids and Kindness.

Now more than ever it is necessary to be kind. It is important to think about kindness as a skill that we can grow from an early age. I grew up in a family of natural “helpers,” who went out of their way to help others, from my dad teaching adults to read, to my mum creating care packages for her students. They never made a big deal about it, I don’t even remember discussing it, but neither one would ever walk past someone in need without helping. It was just what they did, it was just how they lived. I now realize now, especially now that I am a parent, that they had a lasting impression on me.

There are many ways to help children learn to be kind. Seeing you help someone who has dropped groceries, or giving change to someone in the street, or providing any help those you see who need help on a daily basis.

When you are in the playground and a child falls over, it’s easy to say to your child, “Oh let’s make sure she’s are ok.” It can be an hourly teaching if you have more than one child!

Kindness can also be an on-going conversation. Talk to children whenever you can about it. What is it, how does it help, who feels good after an act of kindness? Is it necessary to be recognized for an act of kindness to feel good? Notice it in others and bring attention to it, notice it in them when they are kind.

Good deeds, gestures of generosity – these are mindful actions intended to help another living thing. They may be big or small, planned or spontaneous. Work with your child to find ways to express kindness.

Have them think about a time when someone helped them unexpectedly or gave them a compliment. Memories like this have a lot power – they can help children to see that they can act in the same way to help another and make someone else feel that good.

Social acts of kindness cultivate a shared happiness, build relationships, and give people a sense of connectedness to a group or community. When I work with teachers, I always recommend some kindness teaching and discussion in the classroom. Make kindness cool again! It builds a classroom full of optimism. This awareness encourages compassion and understanding towards others.

Kindness makes you feel good – when we do selfless things for others our brain releases the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine.

It can be a great thing for the anxious child (or adult!) to focus on. When entering a social situation, classroom or party, have your child look around for who needs help.

If you need a bit of motivation or inspiration you can make kindness an activity that is part of your weekly schedule. Create a jar of suggestions that each member of the family draws from. Write thank you notes to each other, to a teacher, nice storekeeper, crossing guard etc – get your children to think about those that do things for them and celebrate that.

Kindness can also be cultivated through meditation. You can guide a meditation for your child or use a guided meditation to visualize offering kindness to those you love, those you don’t really know, and those you may have conflict with. It is a truly wonderful practice and there is much research to show that meditating in this way activates empathy and emotional processing in the brain, and increases grey matter volume in the areas of the brain relating to emotion regulation. It increases empathy and compassion and helps to curb self-criticism.

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

How to keep The New Year's Resolution / aka how to make a change

Happy New Year everyone! Here’s to a fabulous 2017. 2016 was so trying for many and we had to dig deep to find the lessons and teachings. What do we need to look at, to examine? Are there things in our lives we need to change?

Are you someone who makes a New Year’s resolution? How do you decide what that resolution will be? Is there just one thing or do you have a whole list? Do you ever stick to it?

It’s important to set new challenges for ourselves, goals we want to achieve, maybe a shift in a behavior or pattern we have, because this keeps us moving forward and gives us hope. I’ve been thinking about what is involved when we try to make changes and the resilience required if we actually want to stick with these ……

I find there are many lessons we can take from a meditation practice out into “real life.” When we sit and meditate we have to bring ourselves back to our focus over and over again to stay on the path. When sticking to a challenge we have set for ourselves we must do the same thing.There are a number of parallels between the two challenges, so when you setting out in the New Year with your resolution you might like to consider these:

1. Know you may wander off course. At some point you will probably get off course. In our meditation practice when we take our seats, we know that our minds will wander. It is what the mind does. When we set a challenge we know that it may not be a direct course. Maybe we have decided we are going to exercise every week, then one week we don’t…. Where do we go from here? Give up, throw in the towel? No – we move to step 2!

2. No judgment. When we notice our mind has wandered in meditation we do not judge ourselves harshly for this. We simply notice and become aware that this has happened. The longer we meditate the easier this becomes. With a challenge we can do the same thing. Notice that you have strayed from your goal, but do not judge. There is no “I’m hopeless I can never do this,” there is just awareness of the fact. Use compassion towards yourself, keep an open heart, and move on to step 3!

3. Redirect. In meditation once we notice our wandering mind, we simply redirect and bring it back to our focus. When you have strayed from your plan, do the same thing, simply bring yourself back on track and carry on. No one is perfect, this is what it is to be human.

By continually noticing you have gotten off course and redirecting yourself with compassion, you may begin to be aware of what happens right before you go off course. You might start to be able to redirect or reconnect before that happens.

So for this new year ahead, let us be strong and face our challenges with kindness to ourselves, focus and perseverance.

Happy New Year, Be well,

Brogan

Brogan Ganley specializes in women’s wellness, in particular relief from stress, anxiety and depression. Brogan uses a variety of modalities including Meditation, Mindfulness, Reiki, Restorative Yoga, Ayurveda, Nutrition, and Aromatherapy.