Living with Uncertainty
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when walking, just walk. When sitting just sitting.
We have all been pushed into a way of life currently where we are confronted by uncertainty. Uncertainty is actually something that has been constant in our lives, however I think our usual ‘busyness’ allows us carry out our day and ignore that fact. If you have not examined the roll of uncertainty in your life before, it might be really rising to the top right now.
How can we begin to live in a way where uncertainty doesn’t cause anxiety and discomfort? I don’t know if we can, I’m not sure we are designed to. But I am sure that we can limit the suffering it can cause and I am sure that we can still find joy.
Here are a few things that I have been thinking about and that I have found helpful.
1. Cut yourself a break! This is number one! This is a time like no other, we have no experience in living through something like this. It might be that you don’t find this a productive time and that is ok! You might not learn to speak another language, bake bread, get fit, read all those books you ‘should have’ read, write a short story, Spring clean your house or any of the other things we might feel like should be doing! It might just be productive enough to get through it! To tread water is actually very productive. And it is pretty wonderful in itself.
2. What/who letting in to your home? This is huge. You might be in isolation but what are you reading, what are you watching, what are you soaking up? This has a real an impact on your well-being. Just as what food you chose to put in your body has an affect, so does what you consume in all areas. I think we are particularly sensitive to this right now. Be disciplined. Be limited. Choose wisely. This doesn’t mean you are not informed. There are many different ways to take in information -maybe reading the news in limited form instead of watching it is better for you. Being mindful of how social media makes you feel now more than ever is important. Half an hour a day of news or of media may well be enough. Find your limit and stick to it.
3. Worry time /worry limits -this is something I have been advising clients for years but have just labelled it! We are all worried about something and at times multiple things, but we don’t want it to consume us. Allow yourself a time for it, but then rule a line and put your mind elsewhere. When thoughts of worry pop up – remind yourself it’s not ‘worry time’ and engage it elsewhere. This takes discipline just as with meditation, but it is also a relief!
You might consider this approach to the sadness you are feeling. We might need to give ourselves permission and space to feel sad. We can get into a place where we are striving to be ‘ok’ constantly, for our kids, or because we are afraid to let a crack in – I think this can be counterproductive. If you are not allowing yourself room for the emotions that arise they will turn up elsewhere. That might be in anger, it might be in feeling overwhelmed. *When I speak of sadness here, I do not mean in the context of grief which is a whole different space and for another conversation.
4. Learning about yourself. You will be learning a lot about yourself right about now whether you want to or not! See if you can be curious and interested in this. See if you can do it with kindness and compassion. What can this unique time have to teach you? There is always something, sometimes we just really need to shift our perspective or search quite deeply. At this time we are all given the opportunity to focus on what is important and really examine what is challenging. Be gentle. Writing about this in a journal may be helpful.
5. Mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of bringing our attention into the moment we are in, without judgement, with compassion and kindness. This is absolutely essential for the time we are in. Practicing mindfulness isn’t only a form of meditation it is also a tool we can carry into the every day. Whatever you are doing – preparing food, folding the laundry, hugging someone, snuggling with a pet – see if you can do it mindfully. As the wonderful Buddhist saying goes -when walking just walk, when sitting just sit, when eating just eat. When we are in the moment we set aside ruminations about the past, and worries about the future. We are just in the moment we are in. This is really the only place we are.
6. What can you do for others? At times in our lives this is just too much and that is ok. Just taking care of yourself may be just enough right now. When we can contribute to society, or just do something for another person we benefit hugely. It feels good to help, it feels good to think of others. What are your unique gifts and how can you share them? This might be as simple as writing a note to a friend.
7. Exercise. In any form, it’s all good. I’ve been finding my Yoga practice absolutely essential and there are some wonderful live dance events going on at the moment. Mine and my daughter’s fav at the moment is Ryan Heffington on Instagram! Fantastic.
8. Meditate. Of course! Meditation is such a teacher. We learn so much from the discipline of the practice and that learning is continuous. We also benefit in the moment. Our parasympathetic nervous system is activated. We are able to calm the body and mind down. This amongst many things, allows for our body to restore, our immune system to thrive. Important for right now.